THAT CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a...WAIT! I should preface this with a confession...

Thanksgiving: Food and More

It's Thanksgiving week. I love Thanksgiving! It's all about eating and shopping, two things I am very good at, hence my maxed out credit cards and obesity. I jest. Kind of. Thanksgiving, its about food and SO MUCH MORE!...

Parent Fail 517 - Only Human

It was a particularly hard week. I was drained. I had been running empty for weeks. There was yelling. Cursing. Tears. David had had enough. He was blunt and to the point. "You're not acting like a good very mom when you treat them that way. They didn't ask to be your kid." He was right and he knew it. What he didn't know is I how I wept on my lunch break and poured out my heart to my children in a letter they would never read. They are too young to understand the truth about their mother.

Parent Fail 516 - The Vagina Dialogue

Bedtime is one of my favorite times of the day. Almost every night Colver and I snuggle up for some one on one time and talk. Topics range from thinking up silly names to call Daddy (I know, that's how bullies are made. Don't judge.) to what toys he should take on vacation...sometimes though things can get real...

Lies I Tell My Children-The Birthday Dog

It was a quiet evening, well before wedding bells and baby bottles, back in the day when we were living in sin and still sat next to one another on the couch. We were probably watching some VH-1 train wreck reality show...Pimpin' Preachers...Too Hot for Teacher...

Notebooks

I have a thing for notebooks. I LAOVVEE them! As a child, back to school was like Christmas for me. New clothes, new backpack, new folders, NEW NOTEBOOKS! Fresh, crisp, white, college ruled paper. Spiral bound. The cover graced with a unicorn chasing a heart on a rainbow through the clouds! One year! I got a trapper keeper with a boy and a girl on the cover; their heads tilted and mouths partly open, leaning in, about to kiss. They both had thought bubbles that led up to a joint "WOW" Lisa Frank nailed it! She never let me down...

Parent Fail 515 - Mommy Words

Mommy words...These are words that Mommy is allowed to say but Colver is not allowed to even think about speaking, and he most certainly isn't privy to their meaning. Most Mommy words have four letters. We need this classification because Mommy isn't mature enough to find a better way of expressing herself than to cuss like a sailor...

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

Turning 30 was hard for me. I remember my mother being 30. I was about 3 years old and I remember knowing my mom was 30. Thirty always seemed so grown up, so adult...THE BIG 3 0!

Parent Fail 513 - The Valentine Box

I hate Valentine's Day. It is a ridiculous holiday.  I am sure it has well meaning roots somewhere lost in history, but at this point in time, at this point is my life at least, it is nothing but another blackhole money suck pushed upon us by a society of mindless leemors blinding following the teachings of the great retail gods, Walmart and Target, ...

Parent Fail 512 - Return of The SnowFlake Fleece

It was cold outside, very cold. The kind of cold you only experience in a Nebraska winter...

Lies I Tell My Children (Parent Fail 510) - The South Pole Trolls

I believe lying is a completely valid form of parenting. Bribing too. Let me clarify this for those of you whose jaws just hit the floor...

Parent Fail 511 - The Little Red Bird

I am in the habit of going to bed around 11 o'clock. It works for me, kind of...

Parent Fail 510 - Salvation Made Easy

I recently began nightly bible story readings and prayers with Colver. I know, it's a major parent fail that I haven't started doing this before now. I have so many reasons, each of them equally lame. We can totes talk about that some other time, the point is I started...

Parent Fail 508 - My Second Child

Last year I had a baby, my second child. Nothing about my second child has been like my first, NOTHING!  My second child, Caisley, will be one at the end of the month. This year has been struggle in so many ways. I was SO unprepared for the challenges of juggling the needs of two tiny souls. In this short year I have learned so much...

Parent Fail 507 - The Big Bad Wolf

PREFACE:

I have an issue with anxiety. (I know, SHOCKING! Right?!)  I also have a VERY vivid imagination, like 5 year old vivid. My husband loves my imagination but, understandably, isn't so fond of my anxiety. We have had more than one discussion on how my vivid imagination directly feeds my anxiety.