Parent Fail 512 - Return of The SnowFlake Fleece

It was cold outside, very cold. The kind of cold you only experience in a Nebraska winter...

Okay, so it wasn't that cold. It was like 40 degrees outside.We live in Tennessee. Even in February, the coldest month of the year, a sweatshirt and a pair of gloves will suffice most days. This particular day a light jacket was warranted.

For the record, I have been to Nebraska, and it was in the winter. My sister in law (SIL) told me to bring my coat. I was like, "It's January, Duh!" *rolls eyes* I brought my "coat". I got out of the car wearing my "coat." It was frigid! Cold to the Bone! I have never been so cold.

My SIL came out of the house looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. She was full on Nanook of North! She had on a parka! Like the kind they wear when they run The Iditarod. As I stood there shivering, she looked at me like I was dumbass and said, "I told you to bring your coat."

"THIS IS A COAT WHERE I AM FROM!"

SO it was about 40 degrees, maybe a little cooler. It was January. It doesn't get that cold in Tennessee in January.

Convincing Colver to put his clothes on for school is a battle every morning. He takes his pajamas off and lies in the floor whining about how cold he is. David and I have tried to explain that the remedy to his precarious predicament is to put his clothes on, but despite daily evidence that our hypothesis is rooted in scientific fact our rationale is continuously ignored in favor of the less effective method of maintaining bodily warmth: "Curl Up In The Floor and Whine."

After much yelling *me*, cursing *me again*, and tears *Colver* and the basic 'Tshirt and Jeans' is out of the way,  the fight over "extras" begins. "Extras" aren't really extra. They are necessary items such as socks, shoes, coats...unless you are five, then they are superfluous, ridiculous, completely nonsensical hassles that your mother pushes upon you just because she is mean and likes to find ways to make everyone late getting out the door.

This particular morning, the fight in question was over the "extras," specifically a jacket. A jacket was completely out of the question as far as Colver was concerned. My five year old met my explanations regarding the need for a jacket with the impermeable rationale of "The cold won't bother me because I'm. Tough!"

Okay, you're tough. *thats me rolling my eyes again.* So, it comes to trickery then. A step before bribery, but none the less a desperate grasp to regain control.

"Okay, jackets are lame, but what about a sweatshirt!? It's just a warm shirt. Tough guys wear shirts right? Cool sweatshirts! With long sleeves."  Colver grins slyly and shakes his head. I could see the wheels turn. He was thinking about being tough in his sweatshirt. (Yes! He was buying it.) I reach into the closet and pull out...The Snowflake Fleece..."UGH!" Colver protests. (I can't lose this now.) In a single movement I toss it at him and turn back to the closet to search for an alternative. I reach for the next warmest article of clothing in his closet...a ratty camo sweatshirt. (It's really ratty. Like only meant for riding the four wheeler ratty.)

What happens next happened in slow motion for me.

I pull the ratty camo sweatshirt out of the closet in a huff. As I turn to toss it at Colver, I saw him...the snowflake fleece over his head...his left arm through the sleeve. He was putting it on! But it was too late, I had spoken before I saw. "Here. Wear this!" As the ratty camo sweatshirt sailed through the air toward Colver he peeked out from under the half way on snowflake fleece. He reached out his free hand and caught it, proclaiming, "This is gonna be AWESOME!"


Later that day I was informed it was picture day at school. PICTURE DAY! In the ratty camo sweatshirt! UGH! NO! I felt cold inside, very cold. The kind of cold you only experience in a Nebraska winter...