Parent Fail 513 - The Valentine Box

I hate Valentine's Day. It is a ridiculous holiday.  I am sure it has well meaning roots somewhere lost in history, but at this point in time, at this point is my life at least, it is nothing but another blackhole money suck pushed upon us by a society of mindless leemors blinding following the teachings of the great retail gods, Walmart and Target, ...

I am sure it is much more complicated than that, but I am not a sociologist or an economist. To my simple mind, from my limited viewpoint, it is plain black magic, made worse by the most evil of Mommy Nemesi...PINTEREST! Yes I hate Valentine's Day and I hate Pinterest! There I said it. I am big ball of mommy hate, and I am not sorry about it.

As a child I remember Valentine's Day consisted of cutting 2 hearts out of construction paper and stapling them together, leaving the top open, thus making a pouch. In this pouch your classmates would put little colorful pieces of paper with cheesy sayings on them. There was no candy! There was no adorable crafty themed homemade kit complete with candy, toy, stickers, and adorable saying. Nope. Just. Pieces. Of. Paper.With pictures of Fraggle Rock, Thunder Cats, and Punky Brewster.

Granted I have been out of the Valentine game for quite some time. Sure, Colver had Valentine's at daycare, but they did everything for me. Public School has been a rude awakening. There is SO much "homework."  I am not talking about educational curriculum based homework. I am referring to fundraisers, and ice cream money, and Valentine's Day boxes.

So apparently, we were supposed to make our children Valentine's boxes, in which their classmates place their adorable Pinterest creations. I am not sure when the construction paper heart pouch was retired, but apparently it is outdated. This is how I found out about how the need for the Valentine Box.

Note the date!. This was the night of February 10th, at 9:00pm; way too late to do anything about it that night. February 11th was Wednesday, church night, so it was out of the question. That left me Thursday, February 12th, because Colver's party on was Friday, February 13th, to arrange the design and execution of a Valentine Box.

Let me sidestep here and give my girlfriend mad props. I found about the need Valentine's Box when my friend posted a photo of her children's boxes, it subsequently led to the above ^ pictured feed.

Her children's Valentine Boxes looked a little something like this...>>>>>>>>
Only Better! I totally ripped this photo off Pinterest. Here's a link.

I AM NOT HATING! She is not only a friend but someone I look up to and find very inspirational. AND she makes an awesome Valentine's Box.

I hate Pinterest because I am jealous. You know those BuzzFeed lists showing Pinterest fails. Yea, that is why I hate Pinterest. I am the poster child for Pinterest Fails. My hatred for Pinterest in NO way deters me from using it. I currently have 2,223 pins. I refer to it as "My List of Things I Will Never Do." because like a wise woman with bronchitis once said, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Okay, back on track...

SO I already hate V-day because it is a stupid rip off, and I hate Pinterest cause I suck at it. I am already pissed I have to participate it this overpriced ritual for the sake of my son. I gave in. I bought Valentine's. I bought Fun Dip because ALL the kids want is the candy anyway. I just wrote "From Colver" on it. I thought I had I weaseled out of V-day the lazy way! I thought I had had a moment of mommy genius, but now I have to make a box...UGH!

Sounds simple enough, right?! Ummm NO! I didn't even have box. All my friends were like, "Just get a tissue box..." People, we use toilet paper to blow our nose in this house.

So I did what any self respecting mother would do...I called in the MIL. That's right.
The Mother in Law!

Yup, called her right up and explained my crafty crisis. I had plans to purchase a pre-assembled box that night after work, but it would cause me to be a few minutes late. My MIL is a crafty queen. In her retirement she has yielded many a powerful glue gun. She uses glitter is little to no mess. She has stockpiles of crafty weapons in her armory, and most importantly, she has random boxes subject to her will.

"A box. Oh we will take care of that." she commented lackadaisically.

That afternoon, when she picked up Colver, they set to work. Decorating a Valentine Box. He was so happy and proud of his box.

Next year I will be prepared...because I am saving this years box.