As I kid, I never remember it raining on Sunday. Logically, I know this isn't true. Of course rained on Sunday, but when I think about Sundays growing up I can feel the sun shining and smell roast cooking. I can hear laughter and hymns and the birds sweetly singing.
Being an adult is exhausting. Add a job, bills, kids... There is always something that needs to be done. There is always someone needing something from you. There is always a list, a pile of laundry, a sink of dishes, a school project, a community service event... Exhausting!
There are so many voices and books and internet memes out there proclaiming your right to "take back your life," to "say no," to "do it your way," to "stop and smell the roses." I would love to stop and smell roses, but sometimes the air is so clouded with the pollution of my life that I can't smell anything beautiful at all. When I have time stop to take a whiff, you know I smell...the dogs that just came in from out the rain, the sink of dirty dishes, the overflowing garbage can, the soured laundry from 3 days ago that I completely forgot about.
Oh, to go back to the simple sweetness of the Sunday mornings of my childhood when I looked around and saw God creations, not the mess those creations make and leave for me to clean up.
In December of 2015, I started a photo project called #Sundaymorning. It was all for a blog. I had vision of a blog chronicling Sunday morning throughout the year in hopes of capturing and reconnecting with the sweet simple Sunday morning I hold elevated in my memory. Part of me just wanted to see if I could do it, and creativity I was looking for larger project with a deeper self expression. And I won't lie, I was hoping for a large return for minimal effort, because minimal effort was really all I had time for.
I choose Sunday morning because Sundays are guaranteed. Sunday morning is church day, and that means the whole family is together. It tends to be the slowest paced day at House Jones, so I thought I would surely be able to fit a quick photo into my morning without too much trouble. I thought it would be easy. I was wrong.
Sunday morning is the worst time to try and fit something in. I have no idea what I was thinking. I have noticed that past Elena is a horrible decision maker and frequently over estimates her own abilities, so I should not have been surprised. My Sunday morning starts with me exasperatedly saying "Shit! It's 8am! Get up!" after I have spent the prior 45 minutes hitting my phone because it won't shut up. I put my make-up on in the car, not by choice, but because I am running too late and didn't have time to do it at home. We are late to church 100% of the time, no really, 100% of the time. House Jones will arrive no earlier than the first hymn, ever. But past Elena and her great ideas and her optimistic outlook thought, "Sure, We have time for a picture."
Not only was it not easy to find the time, but 2016 was the worst of years to try and capture the peaceful sweetness of Sunday morning. 2016 brought with it restructuring at my work that resulted in me working 11:30 am to 8:00pm. This is after I had spent the prior ten years working 8:00 am to 4:30 pm. A shift in schedule of that nature is less than optimal, and with two young children it was devastating, not just for me, but for my children as well...And my house..and my diet...and my sleep schedule (we are still adjusting....it's currently 3 am). My son started struggling in school, I thought because of my schedule change. My mommy guilt was snowballing as he continued to struggle no matter I what I tired. My daughter wouldn't go to sleep at night because she had not seen me all day. I would spend from 9:30 pm to midnight trying to get to her sleep, all the while the laundry and dishes sat stinking. I am almost 100% sure there was at least one week when neither of them had a bath. 2016 bought with it a ADHD diagnosis for Colver. I actually don't consider this a low point because the end result has been a smoother and more successful year in 2nd grade. Still the road to find the proper medicine and dosing for him was stressful and emotional for all of us, David's car broke down, like twice, and like expensive break down too. The washing machine broke. The shower broke. It left us broke. These are just a few of the highlights too. There was so much that left me defeated and broken. My anxiety and depression, which normally I am able to control, was starting to affect my personality, my mood, and my willingness to participate in adulting. 2016 had some very dark moments for me.
Busy. Stressed. Exhausted. Anxious. Depressed. These are words I would use to describe 2016 Elena. But I as looked back over the pictures I took of Sunday morning, not a single one of those emotions surfaced. Not a single one of those negative stressful situations can even be seen in the photos. Happiness. Fun. Gratitude, Love. Peace. Those are the emotions I felt as I reviewed the snapshots I had labeled #Sundaymorning. The photos showcase the blessings and joys I have to thank God for. As I looked through my photos I could feel the sun shining and smell roast cooking. I could hear laughter and hymns and the birds sweetly singing. It became so clear that as much as House Jones has been though in 2016, we have persevered and overcome by the grace and mercy of God. God carried us through a very tough year with the promise that no matter what 2017 holds He will continue to sustain us. It is in Him that we find the peace and joy we so desire. And there I found it, Sunday Morning.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR
from
House Jones
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