I am nerd. I have always been a nerd. These days being a nerd is the new black. So I am cool, right?
Being a nerd wasn't always something to celebrate, but WOW! How times have changed! Not being a sociologist or a historian, I will sum up the changing cultural norms of the past three decades with my un-expert opinion. First, hordes of nerds grew up and got jobs, thus influencing the products produced and marketed to the masses. Then, somehow, despite our awkwardness, we found each other, fell in love, and procreated. We, the Nerds, became a large demographic with money to spend, and wee ones to spend it on. It's no secret that parents spend money on junk for their kids, and it's no secret that nerds spend money on nerd junk. Jobs+ Nerds + Parents + Money = The Ultimate Fandom! BAZINGA! It's the actual real life revenge of the nerds, using capitalism as our springboard into the mainstream. How American of us!
I wish I had recognized my nerdy nature in my youth. Looking back, I actually have no idea how I missed it. It was REALLY obvious! Being a nerd wasn't something celebrated 20 years ago like it is now, and it certainly wasn't something a girl was. Nerd stuff was boystuff, and goodness knows I didn't talk to boys back then. I can't help but wonder how much I missed out on due to my own oblivion to my true nature. How many experiences did I miss out on? How many nerdy friends might I have found? (Probably none, since social prowess isn't really what us nerdy types are known for.)
I didn't realize how big of a nerd I was until David and I were dating. In the course of our courtship (haha, like anyone calls it a courtship anymore), I revealed my favorite movies at the time, okay, my favorite movies of ALL time: The 5th Element, Starship Troopers, The Mummy...I know, horrible movies, but I still love them.
"So you're a nerd?" David questioned, unable to hide his grimace.
"No. I am not a nerd!" I protested his judgement.
"Ummmm, hate to break it to you, but. Yeah. You are a bit of nerd." He confirmed.The flood gates were open and my nerdiness flowed freely without inhibition, and David stuck around in the face of all my nerdom. In fact, he embraced it, encouraged it even (Okay, so he might have had some qualms about the binge watching of all 10 seasons of StarGate (SG1), 5 seasons of StarGate Atlantis, and 2 seasons of StarGate Universe and subsequent scouring of the internet for the fan fiction that concluded StarGate Universe after it was disgracefully cut short and denied a 3rd season. Honestly, SGU was the best of the all StarGates. It was a hard 4 months for everyone, but in my defense, StarGate stars MacGyver). In truth "BIT of a nerd" is an understatement.
SO, let me make a confession. A nerd confession. Here are some things you might not know about me: I love cosplay. I love role play. I love board games. I love card games. I love Fantasy. I love superheroes. Actually, since we are confessing here, I love super villains. Super villains are WAY cooler than superheroes. I LOVE SCIFI! All things science fiction. Like seriously it is one of my top five favorite things in the world! Space, time travel, aliens, post apocalyptic, cyborgs, other dimensional, space, time travel, aliens,..Have I told you how cool space, time travel, and aliens are? BUT, I don't like zombies...or ET...they gross me out. OH, and I LOVE VIDEO GAMES!...Had my older brothers shared the Nintendo, I would have discovered my love of gaming sooner. Or maybe if we owned a game that wasn't Tecmo Bowl or Tetris. Not my style. I am Mario girl.
College was where I finally got into computer gaming hard core, long before the heyday of MMORPGs. It was the early 2000's and it was all about strategy games. I played Age of Empires, among others, in my dorm room while my girlfriends did what normal college girls do. Whatever that is? I am not insinuating anything here. I really have no idea what normal college girls do. I was too busy playing video games. I wasn't completely devoid of human interaction. I actually would go over to my boss's apartment and game with him. (So funny story... Apparently we were "dating", but I didn't know until he broke up with me and told me he had met "the one." I like *thumbs up* "Good for you!" and he was all *puzzled* "You aren't upset?" and I was like *oblivious* "Ummmm? WWWhhhyy? Would I be?" and he was all *confused* "You know...cuz of us?" and I was like *I see* "OH, yes. Of course I am upset (no I wasn't) but I care about you (no I didn't) so your happiness is most important to me." It was AWKWARD.)
As an adult, my nerdiness is spread a little thin. Time simply isn't available to engulf myself in the
world of Mario or Azeroth (World of Warcraft). My favorite way to play? With my son. WHAT!! No, I don't let my kid play WoW by himself. Mario, yes, but he dies in like in 3 seconds. WoW?, hell no, too many creepers, but he can play with me. He has his own characters and he makes the calls regarding them. He handles the attack controls and forward motion and I handle side to side. And he loves it! It is our special thing that we do together.
I have found the best part of being a nerd is nerding out with your favorite people, and as an adult my favorite people just happen to be tiny versions of myself and their father. The first time my son, at age 3, ran through the house yelling, "Open the StarGate!!" my heart swelled with such pride and excitement. Colver's Captain America Cosplay we did a few years ago was EPIC! And so much fun to put together as a family. Recently, after a few hours of playing WoW together, I commented on how much fun it was to nerd out with him and in that process I referred to myself as a nerd.
"Am I a nerd?" Colver questioned.
My initial response came without thought, "Well, of course." (I mean Duh! You are my offspring! You didn't have a genetic prayer!)
Colver grimaced. "Is that a good thing?" he questioned.
"Well of course it..." I stopped myself mid-sentence. What was I doing? How many times did I
struggle to be what I thought I was supposed to be. How many times did I reject the truth of myself because it did not fit someone's definition of who I should be? I don't want my kids to be who they think I want them to be. I don't want to them to finally find their confidence in college. I want to raise them to understand that you will not find your passion unless you challenge yourself and step outside your comfort zone. I want to raise them to explore whatever interests them (unless it's illegal). I want raise them in a way that empowers them to confidently pursue a journey which fulfills them (unless it's illegal). I want to raise them to be proud of whatever their passions may be (unless it's illegal). I want to raise them to understand that life is not a passive event you watch but one you experience and explore (unless it's illegal). I want to raise them to be proud of who they are and what they love, no matter what anyone says, including me. That's what it means to be a nerd. I am raising nerds!
"Honey, being yourself is what's important. You should be proud of who you are. Everyone is a nerd about something, and the fun part is finding out what the nerdy part of you is!"
In full disclosure, Colver LOVES sports! ALL sports! As a parent, I really thought it would be hard to support that when I don't enjoy it or get the appeal, but funny thing about being a parent...You can nerd out over anything that has to do your kids...AAAANNNDDD we still have video games.
We Are House Jones! (A bunch of nerds!)
No comments:
Post a Comment